I want to deal with common signs, conditions and thoughts of person who commit suicide here. If you find it in your friends or family – you will be able to act in a better way!
Most of suicide attempts are predictable and preventable by close ones if they try to understand!!!
Main psychiatric association of suicide
Depression and adjustment disorder.
- Depression : Due to social stigma, people usually don’t admit directly that they are depressed, but they give some of the obvious signs to be taken as a warning sign.
- Lack of interest in previously enjoyable activity.
- Increasing negativity in thoughts suddenly.
- Sudden weight change.
- Sudden excessive talks on deep philosophy and life-death.
- Usual signs like sadness’s, sleeplessness, less social contract.
- Depression : Due to social stigma, people usually don’t admit directly that they are depressed, but they give some of the obvious signs to be taken as a warning sign.
I am not saying these are classical or specific depression symptoms only. But if these signs are seen, one must try to talk, and know what exactly is running inside mind of that person.
- Adjustment disorder : It’s simple meaning is incapability of coping up with extreme stress or heartbreaking moments of life…
It can be anything… like Death of dear one, loss of job, divorce or breakup, high level insult, bad results in exams… Anything which gives extreme stress.
These 2 are not easily differentiable in reality. But Depression being a chronic illness, gives better chance to you to handle the condition. In adjustment disorder, you must act suddenly.
- Who are vulnerable?
This is the biggest myth specially in India, that only weak people are vulnerable. But strongest looking person can commit suicide. It’s all about breaking point and everyone have one…
Emotionally sensitive people are more likely to commit suicide as they have less tolerance.
But in depression, condition is very hard for strong persons. Person who was always viewed as strong, can’t cry, can’t break against someone – as people don’t accept him/her as in that condition. So they try to cope up with everything from within and in trying, they may lost one day… UNDERSTAND EVERY STRONGEST PERSON NEEDS SUPPORT AT SOME POINT OF LIFE.
It’s myth that person who has come out of something breaking for 5 times, he would be able to 6th time too… He may reach his breaking point now!!!
- Warning signs of suicide :
“I have always been unlucky in life.”
“I have never got what I wanted from life.”
“If I can’t get this achievement or pass this exam, I don’t know what will happen to me/what will everyone think of me or tell me.”
“I have been fighting since long, but now I have lost capacity.”
“My dreams are over now. Everything is finished.”
“I am failure.”
“Without that person my life is just useless. I don’t want life without him/her.”
I am not saying these people ‘would’ commit suicide. But if you listen any of these, closely monitor that person over a period of time. On day 1 of stressful event, Everyone will say this, but make sure he has no suicidal ideas when this happens. And gradually over a period of time, talk to him to make sure he is improving… If he isn’t, please please take help of consultant for this!!!! It’s more dangerous than Corona or Diabetes!!!!
MOSTLY NO ONE WILL EVER TELL YOU DIRECTLY THAT HE/SHE WANTS TO DIE. BUT EVERY PERSON CAN TAKE THIS STEP AT SOME POINT OF TIME IN LIFE, SO ALWAYS BE CAREFUL!!!
- What is your role??? (As a well wisher)
- In case of adverse event : Support – no advice.
Every person need support in his worst times. Support means a trust to be built that you are there. Please please don’t give advice until asked for. Most of people doesn’t need advice. They want love, care and warmth. They want presence of someone. Someone who can listen. Someone who understands him/her!!! So just put your hand on his shoulder/give a hug. It works like magic. If you give unasked advice, person will never open up next time.
- Never judge :
If someone says you something very unethical, something you can’t imagine to do, don’t directly jump to conclusions… Don’t judge and blame him for his conditions. If something illegal and you want to report, do it. But don’t break that person down. Even if something evil has been done, every person needs chance of improvement. In REMORSE, a person can kill himself/herself. So please behave at that point of time.
- Don’t tell them directly their problem is small:
I have seen people who show depressed person 3 days hungry children and say, “your problems is nothing. You are too lucky.” This doesn’t work that way… Slowly slowly make them realize what they have – their own positive sides. But sentence must come from him (idea may be put by you).
- When someone insist, never delay :
I have seen number of cases, when a person was broken, wanted to talk badly, but opposite person would delay by next day or few weeks. If someone tell you in sad/broken voice, he/she needs to talk, Please never delay whatever condition may be. You won’t be able to forget yourself for whole remaining life!
- Talk politely to sad person :
In India, it’s norm that elder person always scold younger. Friends always abuse each other. It’s completely okay in normal conditions. But not when someone is broken… I have seen a case where a friend told him, “You are crying being a male! Find a new girl, don’t be a girl!” And he abused him for long time thinking that he would come out of depression of breakup. But he was admitted in emergency next day. Luckily he was saved and I came to know his story and he is living happily now… but everyone is not lucky that suicide attempt fails!!!!
- Help of psychiatrist:
There is nothing wrong in seeking for help. Psychiatric disorders are no longer considered just disease of mind… Unlike any other diseases like Diabetes or Parkinson, There is chemical imbalances (Neurotransmitter) inside brain which cases diseases and unlike other diseases, they are mostly treatable with proper treatment!!!
- Hit of a moment:
Most of suicide happens without planning. In a moment someone thinks of dying and they commit it within few hours or days… So in most of cases, if you somehow explain that person to wait for atleast few days (as a last resort), most of them will change mind.
SUICIDE IS ALMOST ALWAYS PREVENTABLE IF TIMELY ACTIONS ARE TAKEN. PLEASE MAKE SURE SAFETY OF ALL YOUR LOVED ONES.
In case of any assistance, any problem, if anyone need to talk, I am always available. But no one must end their own life!
